Problemo numero uno.

So yesterday at 3:30am all 34 of us arrived at the airport. We were checking in when we had our first issue. Myself, along with 4 others had issues with getting our visas and were not allowed to board the plane. So the rest of the group went on ahead and Ryan, Dan, Justin, Heather and I went back home. We slept for a couple hours and then headed into Seattle to the Cambodian Consulate to get our Visas. Thank God we were able to get them without any problem. It took an hour for them to process and during that time we just went to a park with an amazing view of Seattle and the water and had some amazing bonding time. The 5 of us have seriously become so close just in the last 2 days. Today we all met at 9:30 and us girls made breakfast for the guys. We spend a good chunk of our morning praying for our friends in Cambodia and just spending time together. During the afternoon we tried to stay in the mindset that we should be on our outreach, we did a mini one at PLU ,the university close by. We went to prayer tonight and it was nice to see the people that thought we had already left. And thanks to our amazing travel agent we have a flight booked for tomorrow at 2:45pm. Instead of flying to LA then Seoul then Cambodia we are going to be flying straight to Seoul and have to stay a day and night there then fly to Cambodia. We are surprisingly in such good spirits and just trusting that God has this all planned out. I absolutely love these 4 and am also excited to see the rest of the group in 3 days. Hopefully I can update soon. Love you all!

And we're off.

I'm sorry this is going to have to be short, as it is 11:25pm and were meeting together in 3 hours. These past few days have flown by. I was able to go home this weekend to get shots and to see my family. I LOVED spending time with them. I got to see a few friends too and it was exactly what I needed. I feel really prepared going into Cambodia. Our group has really grown strong together and I absolutely love everyone on my team. I feel at peace about everything and knowing that God has it all planned out. We're going to have such an amazing time doing Gods work. This first coming up week we will not have Internet but I hope that the weeks after I will be able to update my blog once a week. Feel free to leave comments. I will love getting them and knowing familiar faces are thinking of me, while I'm on the other side of the world. I can't believe it has already been 6 weeks! 6 more to go! Love and Miss you all

It's crunch time.

It is now crunch time. We're leaving in 5 days! This week, in the mornings we do our devotionals and then Bruce and Paulette Buskirk are teaching us. Were going through our Freedom 2 manual. The last 3 days tie together and this is what we've talked about. Teachability, Deconstructing Defensiveness and Deconstructing Rebellion. Pretty much were learning how to posture your heart to make it receptive to being teachable. Man, is it hard to hear what defences you put up in your life and how you fight for control. It's frightening when you look at what's in your heart. Thank the Lord he is so gracious and forgiving. Teachability is basically being able to receive what God or others are telling you without instantly inwardly rejecting what they say. Check out Proverbs 15. Now it is so easy to see how other people are not teachable but you need to look at yourself. It sucks! I realize what I need to sort out to make my heart more teachable. There are 5 general forms of control: Self-Pity; Striving and Performance; Drama and Emotional; Domination; and finally Distrust. No surprise I need to learn how to stop controlling situations by Domination. It was hard being called out on the fact that I think I can do things better than they are being done, that I put on a mask and act like everything is under control or I don't let people close enough to spot my weakness. Of course there were many other things but I'm surprised I'm even this open. ahaha Clearly it has already affected how I think. I have been trying and trying to humble myself everyday. Its hard :) Anyways this is what our mornings have been like. Around lunch time were talking specifics about Cambodia such as schedule and packing lists. In the afternoons we have been organizing an outreach in the community. My group and I are running this thing called SozoFest which is a three on three basketball tournament, dance off, face painting and nail painting. We've been doing it wed, thurs and now friday. It has been going AMAZING. I absolutely love just spending time with all of the people in the community. Even more so than before I have no fear going up and talking to anyone. I got to know a few people today and be able to tell them about the Gospel. Now for the evenings. Tuesday we went to the beach!!! We went to someones place on the beach and went to a boat! I was finally able to tube this summer. We had a bonfire and just an amazing day. I felt completely finally spending a day at the water. Wednesday was prayer night and tonight I am just sitting at home watching The Office with Heather, Justin, Taylor and Rudy. Were just writing out our testimonies for Cambodia. I will update you again soon!

Happy Birthday to me!

What a good day. It been so different than any other birthday I've had. But let me go back to Thursday. So we had our Catalyst Urban Intensive(CUI) students from Portland, Oregon arrive. They are the coolest Asians I know ahah. We had class with them mostly going over the Freedom Manual with them. Friday was the same. Both those days we went to different parks for lunch which was a ton of fun, played ultimate Frisbee and climbed trees. We had worship every night. It was ridiculous, but really awesome. We had a six day week and went to school with the CUI students. One of the girls from the CUI has gotten close to me, shes 15 and her name is Chrystal. She is such a sweetheart. I'm loving all these people I've met and become close to. My friends from Taylor University had some friends visiting who were so awesome. A bunch of us went over to the guys house after worship and I spent most of the time just chatting with this guy Paul. I'm going to visit them in Kansas City I've decided. I then slept at another girls house and spent time talking with Kristin and Christin. Yesterday was our day off. I woke up at 10 and Justin and I headed over to Casey and Travis house where Erin was starting to make brunch for us. At after Justin, Carly and I hung out and watched the office until we had a BBQ at Ryan's at 4. After that we headed to church. After church we ended up having a bunch of people here to celebrate Taylor, Kevin and my birthday (their bday was yesterday). Today we started our outreaches with with CUI students. My group and I are organizing a HUGE 3 on 3 basketball tournament for wed, thurday, friday. There will also be face paint, painting nails, music and other things. Today we spent the afternoon handing out pamphlets to tell people about it. One of the CUI students Nathan, Justin and I spent 2 hours handing them out and I had so much fun! I've fallen in love. I'm serious. I love mission work. There is no part of me that holds back anymore I just strike up a conversation with whoever. I'm so excited to just spend time with people of all ages and just love on them! Iv surprised myself I spent my birthday serving others and I loved it! It started with me waking up in a great mood. When we arrived at school Brynne bought me a coffee! I love her. Then we worshiped (Andrea choose my fav songs) before breaking up into the 3 teams for the next week. It became super nice and sunny and our day was filled with getting ready for the different activities the groups are doing this week. We had our family dinner tonight and I spent most of the time walking along the train tracks with Nick then playing football with Travis, Taylor, Justin, Dan and Nick. I decided to call it an early night because last night way a SUPER last night. Steph and I are having some girl bonding time. I am sooooo thankful that we were put in this house together. Let me see, some random info. Iv spent some time dancing during worship and Iv loved it! Im reading through the book of Genesis again and also through Galatians. I leave for Cambodia in a week and need to begin my packing list I wish I could express just how overwhelmed with happiness I am right now. I'm so thankful for my amazing parents and brother. I absolutely love my life.

Fear of the Lord

I just finished painting my nails and the only safe activity seems to be typing, so here comes another entry! I'm sitting in the kitchen listening to Andrea and Brad warming up for worship set. I love their voices together! I'm loving living with Aimee and Andrea, they're absolutely hilarious. I really hope one day I'll have a friend as close as they are. Anyways as I mentioned in my video, monday was a bit different schedule wise. In the morning we split into our outreach teams and worked on the dramas as a team. Switching around some roles and learning new ones. We totally rocked it. Dan and I do this sweet lift at the end. Ill make sure we get a picture of it. Then in the afternoon we did a video conference with Danny Lehman who is living in Hawaii with YWAM. Our lesson was about how to reach different types of people when you're doing evangelistic outreaches. Finding a common ground is always the first goal and what they previously know about the Bible. He talked about 7 different evangelistic outreach styles and how each are effective. Now yesterday and today, Gerry Fry spoke to us. Now this is one amazing 70+ man. Everything he spoke I felt the need to write down. I'm barely kidding. I feel like I just need to get a recording of the last two lessons so I can listen to it again. I feel like I'm should just write all the quotes down. Day 1 we talked about Gods glory. He said that to understand Gods glory is just to know Jesus. If we pursue Jesus we will understand God better because Jesus is Gods glory on earth. To know the glory of God we need to enter into true worship. To start this we need to acknowledge who God is in every aspect of our life and how we live. Love for Jesus is the way to worship. Iv been just reading the Word so I can better understand who Jesus is and therefor who God is. Iv been discovering new ways to pray. Its mind blowing the difference of how I pray through things and what God does. God wants to reveal his glory even more than you want to see it. Imagine that. Now on to something I am still meditating on and trying to understand. The fear of the Lord. Now true fear of the Lord is NOT being afraid of him. It is to stand in awe, knowing all he can do. "Fear the Lord, you godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need" Psalm 34:9 One things I am trying to grasp is that you must fear God more than you fear man. Iv spent a ton of time thinking about that. You need to ask God for the fear of Him. I know it sounds strange but by holding nothing back and laying it all down you can ask him to reveal the awe of what he can do. He gave us about 8 verses about the fear of the Lord. If you want them I'll give them to you. Iv been really just praying, reading and asking God to reveal it to me. We spent about an hour on the Beatitudes today. I have no idea how to sum it up. One thing that hit me was when Gerry said " To be meek is not be be weak. It is strength under control" It gave me a new out look on that. One last thing I want to touch on was that offence is one of the major things that come between relationships. When a person is offended they have built up anger and they come to a place where they are limited in their ability to love. Take away this - Offence leads to Disloyalty which leads to Betrayal. There is a lot more I could write but I need some sleep. One thing Gerry said I think we all should live by "I look at the past only as a prologue to the future. I need to look at the past to make sure that I don't make the same mistakes again but then I move on further than I did before."

Video Blog!

To gain or to loose? That is the question

What a week! Lauren came down and visited me this weekend. I love her, she's the best! We had such a good girl bonding time. We hung out with people a bit, watched the final and were extremely disappointed. but mostly spent some quality time together. It made me really miss home. During the week, well Dwayne Roberts is amazing. Its hard to figure out the sequence of what I have been learning. I'm sorry if this is all scattered. Let me see, were talking about the desires God has placed in our hearts. God created the human spirit with seven longings that draw us to Him and reflect His glory in us. These longings are common in all of us. They are the longing for the assurance that we are enjoyed, the longing to be fascinated, the longing to be beautiful, the longing to be great, the longing for intimacy without shame, the longing to be wholehearted and passionate, and the longing to make a deep and lasting impact. These longings are put in your heart by God BUT the devil prays on these God given desires. The longing is not wrong it is the way that we sometimes satisfy these longings that is sinful. Think of the ways each of these perfect longings can be twisted by the devil. To play off of what I wrote last time. The way to free your heart from the domination of sin is by delighting in God. To say No and abstain from something is so you can say Yes and get a fulfilling reward. Right now I am trying to rid my life of distractions. There are times that I have been so consumed with with my own priorities and goals. I'm trying to realize that I'm not supposed to be number one. Another thing I really enjoyed hearing was that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I loved knowing that God views me differently than I do or that man does. He actually loves me for who I am and that He doesn't care about how I can mess up sometimes. This is my verse of the week. "If you cling to your life you will loose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it" Matt 10:39. I honestly spent 40 minutes during worship on friday meditating on this verse over and over. I'm starting a process of writing down who God is whenever I come across a verse. Just to understand more. I'm also starting to write down who I am. I'm trying to define myself as God sees me. Its pretty cool. If you look at Judges 6:12 God called Gideon a mighty warrior but at that time he was hiding away, clearing not being a mighty warrior. But He said what Gideon would become in the future and that is how he addressed him. I'll share 2 of the things I have discovered about myself. One I am a magnet of people, no surprise there, God has shown me how He will continue to use that in my future. Another on is that I have a heart of a lioness. A lioness is bold, a warrior(hunter) and has a loving heart. She will do anything to protect those she cares about, like a mother protecting her pride(that's what lions travel in right?). I'm not sure what this is for my future but I'm pretty excited . Id love to write more but Steph and I watched Remember Me and now I'm so tired. I do not recommend it by the way. Horrible ending, too many injustices. Over and Out

Love

I have been completely blown away these last two days. I don't even know how to sum it up. Dwayne and Jennifer Roberts are on the leadership team at the International House Of Prayer in Kansas City which they helped start. Jennifer has been talking to us the last two days and Dwayne starts tomorrow. They're talking about the Song of Solomon. She is blowing my mind. She talked about how important the 1st commandment is. To love God above all else. We need to desire to have a close relationship with God more than anything else. He does not disappoint, while the people of the earth always do. We talked about the Bridal Parody and that we are as precious to God as a bride to a groom. As much as we should desire God, He desires each of us. We need to be in desperate love for God because there is a part of our heart that only God can meet and it is not fair for us to put that expectation on worldly relationships. There are times where it is harder and it is because God likes to hide himself because he loves to be found. The joy is in the discovery. Lots of times people read Songs and get so distracted by the imagery used. They are only used to express Gods amazing love over us. When its says "Kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine" it is a metaphor for the words coming from his mouth that are sweet encouragement to our ears. God is all knowing, He already knows our weaknesses and mistakes and yet He loves us anyways. Why would you not want to love him right back? Jennifer said that by faith and the grace of God you can have an amazing lasting marriage that is like this. Today she talked more about how pleased God is with who you are. As long as you have a heart that is yearning to do his will, no matter if you mess up he is delighted in what he sees. He know you and still love you! There are going to be major bumps but as long as we don't give up God is so proud. Sometimes success is just not quitting. Today we were praying and I knew God was really please with my obedience in him and that he loved me. I was so pleased that God loved me for who I was. And then God flipped my way of thinking. It took someone coming up and saying something to make me realize that God doesn't love me because I obey him. He loves me so much because I have accepted him into my life and because of this I want to obey him. He loves me even if I don't love him back. If I could take away one thing from these two days it is this. God loved me first and I want to love someone who loves me even my weakest points when I'm not obeying him. So this has been the last two mornings. Monday afternoon we headed into Seattle because we had tickets for the Mariners game that evening. We walked around Pike Place Market, Carly and I spent time together talking and I loved it. Sadly we lost the game but it was my first baseball game and I had a great time. This afternoon we presented our projects about Cambodia. I learned so much and can't believe we leave in 3 weeks!

Fourth of July!

What a day! These Americans go all out :) First let me talk about the last few days. On friday we split into guys and girls and went to different homes for our "class". As girls we had Jenna speak to us about body image and self destruction. Shame was the main topic we were talking about. Its amazing how much shame we carry with us. We broke down into groups of 3 or so to pray though things with each other. I think it was the first day every single girl cried but God did some awesome healing in peoples lives. Friday afternoon is recreational time so we all went to a and it was soooo great! I was kind of dancing in the back just totally absorbed in how awesome God is despite all the challenges in life. Then everyone came over to our house for an impromptu hangout session. Aimee, Justin, Taylor and I stayed up super late watching The Office. On saturday the priorities I had in my life were totally rearranged. I really have no idea what I'm doing in the fall anymore. Its been a little difficult but God is already revealing some awesome things and learning to trust in Him. Saturday I hung out with Aimee, Andrea and Tony and went shopping. Saturday night we had a surprise birthday party for our friends Brynne and Steve at our house. Clearly it is party central :D Now today was awesome! The 4th of July is crazy here. We started with a BBQ at noon till 4. At someones huge house and backyard. We had a badminton tournament and Jenae and I won the first round but were eliminated in round two. We ate, hung out and had a great time. We then headed to a field behind a school where we set up an outdoor stage area and held worship for church out there. It was such a great time. Taylor, Justin, Travis and Casey are a band and they played. They were great. This happened between 5 and 7 then we headed to another house to light off fireworks. I cant believe how many fireworks there were! They were gorgeous but I'm surprised no one blew up their hands. Happy American Independence Day.

Canada Day!

I was up in Canada for 4 days and I loved seeing my family but I am soooo happy to be back into my Tacoma routine. I loved my graduation and seeing everyone. While I was away they finished the Freedom Manual. I have the recordings from the days I missed and I am uploading them to my computer as I write this. We have started a different freedom book and I need to listen to the recordings and look at the book. Today is CANADA DAY! so Carly,Dan and I (my fellow Canadians) rocked out in red and white with face paint and mini flags. We got some major hating on Canada and it was great ahaha This afternoon we worked on projects we have about Cambodia. My group is doing a project on Culture and Arts. We're doing a skit which should be a lot of fun. Also this afternoon we got...drum roll please.....our outreach teams! Our group of 28 students plus leaders are splitting into 3 groups while in Cambodia. For the first week we will be separated and then we will be doing things all together but on a whole we stick with our team. Ryan and Jenae are my leaders and my team members are great! We're also attempting to learn some of the language, because it will be A LOT easier to communicate if we can speak the language, which is Khmer. We leave for Cambodia at the end of this month!!!!!